Embracing My Androgynous Adventure
A Story of Gender Nonconformity
Self-discovery through fashion
Over the past few years, I've embarked on a journey of self-expression through gender nonconformity. It wasn't a sudden shift, but a gradual blossoming. As Very Well Mind defines it, gender nonconformity is about rejecting rigid societal expectations of how you should dress, behave, or identify based on your assigned gender at birth.
It's important to remember that gender identity (who you are) and gender expression (how you present yourself) are separate. While I identify as a cisgender male, my clothing choices don't always follow the traditional "masculine" script. Sometimes, I rock typical men's clothing, feeling confident in my masculinity. Other days, I might wear clothes typically associated with women, or embrace a more androgynous look that blends both styles.
A Step Outside the Shoe Box
My exploration began, surprisingly, with footwear. Never having been particularly tall, I decided to try wedge sneakers. Not only did they offer a height boost, but the men's section paled in comparison to the variety and vibrancy of the women's section. It sparked a question: why limit myself by gendered clothing sections?
Finding Comfort and Confidence
During a challenging time dealing with anxiety and loss, weight fluctuations made my usual pants uncomfortable. Skirts, I realized, could be a stylish and comfortable alternative. However, societal expectations initially held me back. That is, until I saw celebrities like Lil Nas X, Harry Styles, and Bad Bunny redefining masculinity with their gender-fluid fashion and softboi aesthetics. Social media influencers like David Ross Lawn and Omar Ahmed became my style icons, inspiring me to embrace what makes me happy.
Finding clothes that fit both my body and my evolving style was challenging. But thankfully, I discovered that many brands offer a wider range of sizes and styles than ever before. I built a collection of skirts in various lengths and materials, from denim to silk, perfect for any occasion. Dresses soon followed, from flowy off-the-shoulder styles to statement princesscore pieces. And circling back to footwear, I discovered my love for wedges and platform heels, offering both height and comfort.
Breaking Free, Finding Myself
Breaking free from fashion norms has led to a newfound appreciation for my body. Wedge booties and skirts accentuated my legs, a feature I began to see in a new light. However, the lack of pockets in most skirts and dresses made handbags and crossbody bags a necessity. While makeup and nail polish haven't piqued my interest yet, who knows what the future holds?
As a social media influencer wisely noted, clothing isn’t inherently gendered. Skirts have a long history of being worn by all genders across cultures, and high heels were originally designed for men. The lines we draw around clothing are social constructs, not biological facts. Women gained the freedom to wear pants, but societal acceptance hasn't gone both ways for men. It's time to break free from outdated norms that no longer serve us.
Society's expectations may have a voice, but it won't dictate how I express myself. I'm grateful for the countless gender-nonconforming individuals who paved the way for me to embrace my authentic self, one fabulous outfit at a time.